Horton Hears a Who?
by Cestrescir
Summary: Poor Matthew just wanted to have a nice, quiet weekend. Too bad that's not possible when you have a brother like Alfred.


Hmmmmm....its been a while since I wrote a oneshot, and this was just too good to pass up.

I'm not going to do much talking, I'll just save that for the end and get to the point.

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Hetalia. Nor do I own the awesome story/movie featured in this fic.

**One Seemingly Harmless Day in Canada...**

Matthew wiped the sweat from his brow, straightening up and taking a step back to view the fruits of his labour. He'd been cleaning his entire house from top to bottom since Friday, and had vowed that nothing, not even his polar bear's cute little mesmerizing eyelashes, would stop him from getting it done this time.

Speaking of the bear, Canada looked around, trying to pin-point the animal's location. When he did, he blinked. Kuma was watching an Animal Planet special...on werewolves. Ooooh-kaaaaaay...

Well, since the little bear didn't need him, it was time to enjoy the rest of his weekend, even though he was down to only a Sunday afternoon, now. Still, it was something to look foreword to. Maybe, he'd settle down in an armchair with a nice mug of coffee, book in hand. Yes, that sounded perfect. A nice, peaceful, normal weekend of relaxation after all his hard work.

And, of course, the Universe just _had_ to decide that it didn't like him that day. Matthew yelped in surprise as his front door suddenly bust open, violet eyes wide. There in the doorway, looking quite majestic in the barely-fading light of the evening, was America.

Canada's face immediately adopted a mildly sour expression. It just _had_ to had happen today. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

"MATTIE!" America yelled, jumping unnecessarily into the house.

Matthew winced at the volume, and sighed, looking at...his...floor. And Alfred's muddy shoes. Tracking dirt. On his formerly clean floor. The floor he had worked on the _entire weekend_.

"Mattie, Mattie, Mattie!" Alfred chanted, trying to get his brother's attention.

Canada's blazing violet eyes locked onto Alfred's face. "What do you want, you hoser?" he hissed.

Alfred blinked. "Whoa. Did I just make you angry, or something?" he asked, eyes wide.

Canada sighed, already starting to push his anger down rather forcefully. "Something like that...look, Alfred. Just tell me what you want so we can get it over-with and I can go back to my nice, quiet evening," he nearly pleaded.

He should have just grabbed his fishing gear and high-tailed it out the door as soon as he was done cleaning. Maybe, then, he would have had a nicer evening. It wasn't as if he didn't like his brother, or anything. Alfred was just a little...too much to handle. Most of the time.

The grin was suddenly back full-force. "But, Mattie! That's why I came! Take a looksie!" he said, shoving something in Matthew's face.

Canada blinked. "A...Blockbuster DVD case?" he asked, a knot forming in his stomach. "Alfred, I'm pretty sure we've talked about this. Just because no one wants to watch your scary movies with you doesn't me you should come to me--"

Alfred cut him off, shaking his head. "Nonononono. Just trust me, Mattie. You go make the popcorn, I'll go get things set up. Okay?" he said quickly, bending over to unlace his still muddy—Canada's eye twitched—shoes. There was a slight pause before Matthew sighed. There was no way to get rid of Alfred once he had one of his crazy ideas...might as well just go with it.

'There goes my nice, quiet weekend...'

A few minutes later, Matthew walked into his living room holding a large bowl of freshly popped popcorn. Somehow, his brother had actually remembered to put his shoes by the door with the others, though his jacket was draped over the back of an armchair.

Alfred himself was sitting cross-legged in front of the Matthew's DVD player, which was actually situated just under the television. He hadn't actually messed with the TV itself, yet, so Kumajirou was still watching his program, seemingly oblivious to any other activities going on around him.

"Ah-HA!" the American exclaimed just as Canada set the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table.

"It took you _that long_ to figure out how my DVD player worked?" he marveled, watching the back of his brother's head.

Alfred didn't turn around as he put the disk into the DVD player. "Shut it and sit down," America grumbled, sitting down next to Matthew when he was done.

Already, Canada found himself reaching for popcorn. "So, what are we watching, anyways?" he asked warily. The last time Alfred had made him watch a movie...

His brother sighed. "It'll be fine, Mattie. I made _sure_ this wasn't a scary one. Heck, kids watch this. Its perfectly safe. _Neither_ of us are getting scared tonight," he reassured him, pressing the 'play' button on the remote.

Matthew blinked, settling his polar bear onto his lap. "Oh. So, what's the movie called, eh?" he asked, feeling a bit better about the situation, now.

"Horton Hears a Who."

"Canada."

Alfred blinked. "Huh?"

Matthew blinked right back. "Canada. You know...me? You said 'Who', so...it was a reflex...and I..." he trailed off into a half-intelligible mumble.

America snorted. "No, no, no...that's the name of the movie. 'Horton Hears a Who'," he explained.

Canada nodded slowly. "Oh...kay...."

"Shhh! The movie's starting!"

Matthew sighed, still felling slightly embarrassed, and huddled down in his spot, deciding to try and enjoy it.

It was a nightmare.

Sure, it was cute. There was no violence. It was perfectly fine. Alfred seemed to be enjoying it a lot, in fact.

Matthew found himself hyperventilating.

How many times can you say _one word_ in a single movie? Canada wasn't sure. He was pretty sure, however, that this movie exceeded all records. With one word he hated the most.

The 'Whos' of Whoville with their Who-dings and Who-ma-jiggers and Who-dads. Who, who, who, who, who.

Alfred seemed oblivious to his plight. Kumajirou just made things worse by looking up at Matthew and blinking.

"Who?"

---

"I'm CANADA!!!"

Alfred stared at him. "Mattie? What the heck is wrong--" he stopped. He looked from the currently pause movie, to Matthew, then back again. You could almost hear the gears in his brain turning as America put two-and-two together.

He shut the DVD player off.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

Eventually, it was broken by America's nervous laugh.

"Er...wanna go fishing?"

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Hey! That didn't turn out quite the way I expected, but....yeah...XD

This was just a little idea my sister and I had come up with one night. I'm glad I finally got around to writing it.

Now, then.

I actually looked the word hoser up, since I wanted a better definition for anyone who didn't actually know what it meant...the definition I managed to find was literally; _"What you call your little brother when your Mom isn't around."_ O.o

God, I love Canadian slang.

Anyways, this was mostly just random, late-night boredom, but...well, I hope you all like it, any ways. :3


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